Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Late night drivers...

Last night is, lan, farid and i went to watch the new police story. Overall, it was ok. Action-packed, but could never match jackie chan's older films. however, imho, it's better than any of his hollywood films. Those made in hollywood lack originality, especially the stunt parts. i dare to say this because there were moments when i watched a scene and suddenly went like, "wait a minute, i've seen this before"... bet many others have had the same experience. nonetheless, jackie can still kick some ass, and the other co-stars in police story arent too bad either. oh, btw, thanks, is.

anyways, i went home pretty late, at around 2am, i think, and from serdang perdana to somewhere along seremban highway, i noticed that there was this one crazy dude following my car really really closely like it was to going ram into mine. Initially, i thought maybe he wanted me to move to the left lane so tht he could overtake me. but when i did, he followed me to the left. hence, to confirm tht he was indeed trying to 'mencucuk-cucuk' my car, i slowed down from 110km/hr to 50km/hr, then back up to 110km/hr and down again to 50km/hr, and i did tht a few times, and surprise-surprise, he did the same.....mannn, was tht annoying (or more like scary) or wht? running out of ideas, i resorted to the last ammunition i got left, my camera. With my right hand steering the wheel, my left hand groped for my camera, and the moment i got it, i rolled down the window and started to snap away. i knew i wouldnt get a good picture, but heck, i just wanted to scare him with the flash, and boy, did it work like a charm. Within seconds, he sped to the fast lane to overtake me, and again i snapped, the flash fired and a few moments later, he was out of sight.....kekeke, tht's wht u get when u try to mess around with me

that reminds of this one time when a similar thing happened, but tht time, those guys really wanted to overtake me, i thought i was annoying them for driving in the fast lane at a reasonably slow speed (by midnight-when-there're-very-few-cars standards). so i moved to the left, and as they were passing me on the right, i wanted to turn to the right and give them that cold stare, indirectly telling them, "apsal nak cucuk-cucuk? aku bawak abis laju la tu!", but what i saw was the guy on the passenger seat grinning from ear-to-ear flashing a peace sign. that totally took me by surprise, gone was that cold angry look replaced by the laughter tht i just couldnt suppress.

- the end -

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Please don't go...

Got an sms from non yesterday, telling me that her request for transfer back to penang has been approved. she asked me to hang out with her this weekend as she probably will no longer be in kl from the 15th onwards....waaaaaaaa....i'm gonna miss her so much. i do understand tht she really doesnt have tht much of a reason to stay in kl after the demise of her husband, but somehow i still want her in kl. we've been extremely good and close friends since ppp, and tht was almost 10 years ago...and for me, knowing tht she's around gives me a sense of ......i dont know, i suppose when i'm bored, i can simply give her a call and ask her to hang out together...actually i already saw this coming months ago, but when the time is finally here, it's just hard to accept...on the 15th, great, on my birthday itself (unofficially, on the cert, it's written as the 16th- long story)..darn...oh well, at least, on tht day, i'd b back in my hometown with my parents, so tht wouldnt b too bad would be great, plus it's the first day of ramadhan, so we get to fast and break fast together...

i remember, on the 15th of Oct last year, did something kinda naughty, was also back in my hometown on some work assignment for the whole week. but on the 15th, i kinda left everything and headed down back to kl to watch linkin park in concert, and took the last bus back to my hometown that very same night. The concert sucked, but tht was understandable considering the warning they were given by the ministry of arts and culture. And good thing it sucked, otherwise, the following day, i'd be consumed with euphoria tht i wouldnt be able to think straight for the whole day like i did after the hoobastank concert....

Sunday, September 26, 2004

Walking down memory lane....

Went to HLA building yesterday, hoping to meet my good old friend, Joe. Haven't met him in ages. Was really curious as to what he is up to these days. Last time we met, he told me that he's moving into dvds now, no more vcds. So now that i got a dvd player, i really wanted to find out how much he is selling them for. Unfortunely, when i got there, his store was no longer there :( . I wonder where he is now. Kinda miss the guy.
To me, Joe was not your typical vcd seller. This guy knew all known movies under the sun, and i would always ask for his opinions before buying. Plus, he was well read. I remember hanging out at his store, and we would discuss about history, world issues and sometimes religion. He used to tell me about his previous employment, about the time he was the manager of a massage parlor at a hotel. Besides managing it, he was also the cleaner and massager..sounded more like a one-man show, and though he didnt tell me, i kinda felt tht it was probably illegal. Joe was never married, so he spent all his time going around looking for vcd supplies, and the hightlight of his day would be at night when he went home, laying down on the couch with a cup of coffee and cigarettes, all within his reach.
I'm sure everybody who frequented his store would agree tht he was a great guy who really knew his stuff. I'm also sure tht they would agree tht he treated his customers and friends well. Talking about friends, i remember going to his store on one rainy day. The moment i got there, he wasnt around, but the shop that he shared with this one guy who fixed watches was open. I asked the guy about joe, and he told me tht he'd be back soon and asked me to wait. he even offered me his hair dryer after seeing me all soaking wet. I never spoke to that guy prior to tht day, but he recognized me because i was there almost every 2-3 days. But what touched me the most was the fact tht altough we werent exactly talking to each other before then, because he knew we both knew joe, automatically we felt there was a connection. This also happened among us, the customers. Occasionally, when asking joe for his opinions, other customers would cut in, and offered their opinions to me.....gosh, i miss that so much. i wonder where he is now, i hope he not dead, or in prison...

Anyways, after tht, i went to pizza hut at the weld. Had a plate of spaghetti masala ... yuck..dont ever buy it, unless u love the sour taste of tomato paste. All i can say it was so nauseating that i didnt finish it and even had to go next door to macD to neutralize my tastebuds...

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

nature vs nurture

Had an interesting conversation with my roomie today. She commented on an article in one of my magazines about how monozigot twins always try to achieve a win-win situation as opposed to twins coming from different eggs who are competitive as normal siblings are. Kinda makes us think as to why twins do this.
In a situation where both of them are students. How would we know if one is better than the other. Maybe one of them is better in her studies, but automatically switches gear and slows down so that they'd both be at the same pace. Is this done deliberately because she cares, or is it something that she does subconsciously? To other ppl, it might seem that they're both good or bad because they're twins. But the reality is, are they really born equally good?
The article includes examples of separated monozigot twins who turned out almost the same in almost everything despite the different lifestyle and environment they were brought up in....my question is, could that just be a coincidence? Surely, there are others who are totally unrelated but by chance experience the same thing, but because they are unrelated, nobody cares to highlight it.
That kinda reminds me to an article written by steve pinker (think that's his name), who is said to be the authority on the subject of human behavior. According to him, genes play a major role in determining our looks (duh), intelligence and even our temperaments. If this really is the case, then we were not born innocent after all. That of course, sparked a lot of responses.. a guy commented about how all the inmates in prisons can claim innocence as they were all born bad, i.e blame it on the gene, yeah, right.
Nonetheless, this is what i believe in. I believe that some things are inherited, some things are not. But everything is still subject to change, all it takes are efforts and or course, fate.

Monday, September 20, 2004

Hmmmmm......

Hmmm.... am I feeling mad or am i feeling mad? A friend's friend decided not to approach me because he thinks, and also because according to their other friend, i am his girl. Darn...how weird is that? if that's true, how could my "so-called boyfriend" give my nick to that guy in the first place...
It's not that i care so much about him not approaching me, it's really because apparently there's more than one person who thinks that i'm off the market..shit, i'm talking as though i'm a house or a car...
oh well, maybe it's for the best...and besides, this way i'm safe from getting all tangled up in their little problems...

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Pep Talk

Was given a little pep talk by my supervisor. Really needed that actually. I am at a stage where I feel like I'm losing touch with the direction of where I'm supposed to be headed for. So meeting her tonight really boosted my confidence level, and now I'm all charged up the dreaded debugging phase of my stupid code. But there is one lil' problem, now it's getting quite late, and I'm anxious to go back to catch Amazing Race, and by tomorrow, I'm almost 100% sure that I'm gonna lose direction again, despite feeling good about it tonight and despite writing what I have to do tomorrow in my to-do list. Oh, well...tomorrow is a different day, guess when I'm starting to feel lazy again, I'll just find her and ask for another pep talk session...

i've just decided that starting right now, i'm not gonna be so rigid with myself. i'm gonna do away with the grammar, the capital letters, full spelling (yay, abbreviations rule), correct spelling etc in order to get my fingers to run in sync with my brain. as long as i can read and understand what i've written, that's good enough for me. but i'll try to be easy on the abbreviations, just so that 10 years from now(if this blog still exists), i'd still be able to understand it.

thts's all i got tonight, i need to go home now. oh, i just found out tht a friend doesnt own a mobile phone. wow, i dont know about him, but if i were him, i'd feel very lonely.

gotta get rid of this keane's song out of my mind. "everybody's changing" is on repeat playback mode on my brain and it's driving me nuts. and the weird thing is that this only happens with sad depressing songs. Before this, it was "vindicated" by dashboard confessionals. before that, i can't remember. but the most depressing song for me has got to be "side" by travis. Man, i love the song, but everytime i listen to it, it just gets me feeling really down up to a point of taking my own life, ok, i'm exaggerating again. but it does make me feel like my life is really pointless. I remember back in 2002, i was sooo hooked on this song for months, and i would play it over and over again on my car stereo while i was driving. i think i spent probably close to 40% of my working hours driving, so u can imagine just how much i listened to this song. but everytime i got closer to my client's site, i would immediately put on a different song, probably something by linkin park or barenaked ladies just to uplift my spirits again..i really needed to do tht, really needed to put on a happy face for my clients, or it'd be bad for business...now my car stereo is all kaput, can't play any cassette anymore, but at least the radio still works...

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

What now??

This place sucks!
Why can't those people fix the pool faster? A month is a long time to wait. By then it's gonna Ramadhan, then Hari Raya and by the time I get to swim again, I probably won't be able to remember how.

And the worst part is, no swimming means no exercise at all for me. Maybe once in a while, I would go down and play ping pong, but seriously I can't depend on that at all. Tons of ppl here wanna play, but nobody really wants to initiate it, except for a few good guys here. But when they're not around, or don't feel like playing, nobody plays..... And besides, there are always ppl waiting to play down there that sometimes I'd get embarassed of waiting. I don't mind waiting in queue at a bank, but waiting to play ping pong when those playing aren't quite ready to let go of the bat really sucks. It feels like being the dork that nobody wants to play with, and if there's a kid playing with you, you'd feel like he'd been ordered or even paid to play with you. Anyways, I don't really mind not playing and besides, I'm terribly bad at it. My coordinations are all out. I've also been told that I move like a gorilla when I play. Imagine that!

Yikes, just remembered that I've been totally totally (this is not a typo, i typed it twice) unproductive since last week. just got this new report paper that i can make as a reference, but the guy who wrote it seems untraceable. I couldn't find anything on him that is dated later than 1998. Seems like he had disappeared into thin air, or worse, died. I got tons of questions to ask him. Darn it!! And because I got nothing from him, I am pretty much stuck, I simply don't know how, or actually kinda lazy to move on...

Monday, September 13, 2004

Port Dickson

I haven't had as much fun as I did yesterday. It's been so long since we last got together. Okla, we kinda got had a mini reunion a week earlier, but it wasn't really the same thing. Yesterday was much more fun.

Time spent with them is always unforgettable. A mere chat with them feels like a real conversation. Jokes that they make, as stupid as they get, never insult my intelligence. In short, being with my ex-classmates gives me a sense of belonging.
The day started kinda slow, but once we started playing konda-kondi (thanks to the no-longer-7-serangkai gang) that things started to heat up. We played so hard that a friend tore up his pants in his quest to catch the small wooden thingy, and had to wear sarung throughout the rest of the day. After lunch, some of us went straight to the ocean, me included and played with the water till the tide was high again. I'd like to say that I swam yesterday, but somehow, I think I walked a lot faster than I did swimming. So no, even after months of practising in the pool, I am still not competent enough for the ocean. Darn..




Here are some of the pictures taken on that day. The one on the right was taken when we played konda-kondi. Try to read the captions that Pian had added. Hilarious!!

Wish we could have something like this again in the future and I'm really hoping that Ann and Sad can make it next time. Think it would be more fun with them around considering that the 3 of us are pretty close.

Hmm...that reminds me of something that happened recently that I gotta straighten out. Guess, sometimes, when we're too close to someone, we tend to be reckless in our words and actions that we sometimes say and do things that we don't mean. I do that too sometimes, but this time, I kinda have gotten myself into a bit of a trouble. But I will try to sort it out somehow. It's gonna be tough, especially for someone as insensitive as myself, but I will try. But I guess that IS my problem, I have no feelings, ok, maybe a lil' bit, but maybe not enough to feel things, except, maybe anger, and the worst part is that I expect people to be just like me. Thus, when I say things, I say it thinking that they will take it the way I would, but the problem is they don't. Some, if they don't like it, just push it aside (I'm in this category), some ponder over it, and get back to you hard and that's when the problem arises. Well, whatever it is, nothing is worth losing a friendship over, so good luck to me...

On a lighter note, I had lunch with some old ex-classmates in Putrajaya today. Again, as usual, it was nice. Somehow, I wonder what makes it nice. Is it them? I don't know, the people at work are also nice. Is it because we seldom meet? Well, I see Jawa almost everyday, but it is always good talking to him. Is it....? I don't know, maybe they're just nice in a different way, kinda like they are, as my supervisor puts it, of a different breed. Or maybe, it's because I'm missing the old private sector, and that makes listening to their stories awfully exciting. Oh hell, I got a great job, and I truly believe I can make a difference being what I am, but why am I still feeling empty? Hehehe, possibly because whatever difference I believe I can make can never come true as long as some people are still there doing what they still do. Aaaahhh, if only we're living in a society where academicians are appreciated, showered with benefits and facilities that they don't to worry about what to eat for lunch everyday so that they'd still have enough until the end of the month. I suppose maybe that's why we're very unproductive, we have so many things to worry about that we don't have time to think deeper in many different creative ways... or maybe that's just an excuse for our own laziness. Well whatever, I'm gonna have my dinner, and maybe after that, I'll watch some DVDs... duh, maybe I don't deserve to be appreciated after all .