Sunday, May 31, 2009

best giler hari ni!

gambar hiasan of what i ate yesterday

so i went downtown today. Mak aiiii, banyaknya manusia (dari a typical sunday in erlangen yang essential as good as a ghost town). Reason being, for about 2 weeks starting last thursday, ada Bergkirchweih, a beer festival yang 3rd biggest in negeri Bayern ni. So bersepah2 la manusia di serata pekan kecik ni, time ni la rasa alive skit erlangen ni. Mana taknya, diorg ni dok ramai2 jd bising, nyanyi melalak cam kat stadium bola, siap pakai cam muffler bola kat leher, apa kejadahnya ni? Yang dok depan stesen keretapi, siap main radio kuat2, ada feel 80an lagi. Busker rocker dok nyanyi sorg2 depan statue pon ada gak, tak sedap lak tu nyanyi.

anyway, there's a concert in the garden in the middle of the town, so i went to check it out. Lots of people, makck2 and kakak2 yang ceria menari sesuka hati. I guess it was pretty good, otherwise, surely they wouldnt be invited to perform there. But really, it was some kinda classical music that i didnt really know how to appreciate, so i left.

Went straight to the train station, nak beli tix fast train to muenchen, kena beli awal, nanti abih. So this being only my second time beli tix on my own (selalunya org lain tolong), lamala dok mengadap mesin tu walopon guna bhasa english. Tgh2 dok tekan itu ini, i noticed an very old lady yang rambut putih, bongkok, pakai spek, in the 70s-80s gitu with a younger man of maybe 50s kot dok berdiri kat belakang. Apehal lak ni? Mesin kat sebelah kan ada. So I turned, smiled and motioned to them to go the other machine. Pastu they said something like nak beli tix, tp tak reti. So they needed my help.

Aramakkkk, apsal cari aku? Kang aku silap paham, beli salah, tak ke naya. Takpe, kuatkan semangat. So aku tanya sepatah2 je.

"Errrr....?" Kira dah satu soalan la ni.
Diorg jawab, "Einmal (satu tiket je). Fürth". Oh, ok, uncle tak ikot, tok wan je nak g Fürth, ok.
For confirmation, i asked again, "Errr, von Erlangen nach Fürth? (dari Erlangen ke Fürth?)"
"Ja, Fürth (Ya, Fürth)."
Aku tanya lagi, "Heute (Hari ni?)".
"Ja (Ya)."

Okayyy, so aku tukar la bahasa mesin to german, walopon aku kurang paham, janji tok wan tu tgk, dia bole la paham. So aku pilih pekan Fürth, aku tanya nak stop kat mana, diorg nak main station, ok, aku pilih, then terpampangla 8-9 pilihan schedule. Tak sempat aku nak pilih, tok wan tu laju je tekan top option at 1245. Weh, tak chk ke masa dulu, mahunye 2 minit lg train sampai, tak sempat lak dia terkedek2 nak kejar. So aku pon cancel, kata kejap. aku tanya uncle tu, "Wie spaet...(What time...) -camne nak sambung ayat ni eh? tup-tup dia dia dah chek jam, n the words came to me, walopon sedikit terlambat- ... ist es (is it)?

Oh, 1225, awal lg. ooo, cekap gak tokwan tu pilih time. Pastu time keluar harga, aku dok tercari2 harga kat screen, dia dah laju je ckp, "2 euro 70 sen". Amboiiii, cekap je rupanya. Serupa tak yah mintak tolong aku pon dah ok ni. Anyway, time tix n baki tak jatuh kat kotak kat bawah tu, aku tolong la amikkan. And before they left, they were like, "Vielen dank!" all smiling... and tht just made my day... aaaaahhhhhhhhhh.

TAPI tak abih lg tu, time dok cycle balik sambil mengarang camne nak cite dlm blog. tetiba ternmpak sebijik keta tht i recognize so well. Trus stop, pusing, ngadap depan keta, nak amik gambar n aramak, ada org rupanya. Tp dah facing the car, pura2 la amik wallet, chk duit, konon teringat something very important. At the same time, member driver tu dtg, they she started the engine. Aramak, dah nak blah dah ke? I took out my handy, and snap bontot keta!

oh, my wiraaaaa... there you are when i need you...

Friday, May 29, 2009

the end

i'm tired. i feel drained.

i feel that self-esteem is being destroyed bit by bit.
I feel that i'm being made to doubt myself, that everything that i know and feel and experience were just a fragment of my imagination, that none of them is real (only yours are).
i feel worthless, that I hold no value, i feel useless.
Is everything that i feel, that i say, that i think is always always always wrong?
Am i really that stupid?

I'm sad, miserable, depressed.
I'm done trying. I'm done crying.

For once, I want to feel appreciated.

Das ist genug.
Ich bin mude, ich liebe dich nicht mehr.

I'm sorry.

Monday, May 25, 2009

music again

very calming! rasa cam dok baring2 dlm hammock kat tepi pantai...
now signed under Brushfire Records, tht's jack johnson's label, ok?
think she's currently the only girl under the label.
oh, and btw, the name's Izyan Alirahman, born in sarawak, partly bred in kl.

Sunday, May 24, 2009


so now i know of another Malaysian in erlangen ('oh how pathetic...', u londoners n ozzies must b thinking eh?) so yesterday, he wanted to go to Munich, and having never been there, told him i wanted to tag along.

So, we went to some of the famous places where the people went to just relax while getting a tan under sun and what not. of course, it would b nice to go to the mall with a cinema, a bowling alley, an arcade, a supermarket and retails stores all in one, but alas, i dunno if they have one, and besides, we're not exactly making a proper working-class income.

So, jd la jln2 je, jln2 cam gile gak ler. if anyone has ever jalan2 with me, they know i hv a tendency to lose my sense of direction n get lost, well tht happened, so we ended up jalan berejam gak ler. i salute those who can stand following my lead, it takes perseverence and most of all patience

But anyway, we managed to visit a lake, a famous one it seems, one with very clear water, yg some parts cam kg nelayan, some parts cam langkawi where the yachts dock, at the, dunno wht it's called, a port? and some parts yg cam tepi pantai, cume nye it's like 5 meters long...

kg nelayan

tepi pantai

dah smpai langkawi

aik, hantu lilin!

this is the englischer garten. konon nak ambik gmbr org pakai bikini in the background, tp camera x leh zoom jauh lak.

we also saw lots of soccer fans at many of the major stations. there was a final league match between bayern munich n wolfrum (?) - think they're from stuttgart, tht's written on the kids' jersey. Bayern won the match, but lost the championship. kesian muka masing2 monyok je, time nak g excited, rowdy n dang loud... oh well, adat bertanding.

Then off to the so-called bmw museum, wait, not a museum, it's a exhibition hall, actually. but not being a fan of cars, amik gmbr je la, so dun ask me the difference between a 7-series, z-series, a-series or whatever, i dunno.

a bmw car

tamak betol, motor pon nak produce. so i rode it hihihi, tatau diorg bg ke tak, so curi2 ambik gmbr

just so u know, i'm not 100% clueless, i bet this is a z-series, judging by the plate number.

a race car pon ada gak. oh, this is cl, my first impression of him was a pretty unpleasant one, thought he's one of those smart alecks who roll their eyes when u say something seemingly silly, but was apparently a complete opposite of that. very friendly and extremely easy to talk to. an overall nice guy n with a nice physique (methink tht last bit is a rarity in malaysia)

and the race car was not just another race car, this one bears the name petronas n malaysia, wajib amik gmbr ni.

anyway, before we left, we met with a bunch of malaysians in kfc. they were getting ready to party-hop as there were concerts (?) scattered all over munich, about 400 bands/artists were playing all nite till early in the morning. sounds interesting. ok, takpe la, we passed, kaki sakit, badan penat, ketiak berbau, perot lapar (no, no kfc for me. not only does it taste like recycled egg cartons, i was also was-was as i'm still not a syrian here, bab mkn je la kot... hmmmm), AND it was gonna take us 3 hours to get back to erlangen, lama tu!

got back to my room, mandi, boom, landed on the bed, but alas, i woke up super early, heck, i probably didnt even get a good nite sleep 3 quarter of the nite. had a thriller kinda dream about the syrians in my class, tak gune betol, apehal aku ni, smpai dlm mimpi pon nak cari pasal dgn diorg... ishhhh!

Monday, May 18, 2009


it's not often tht i feel this compelled to write about something instantly, but now is one of those moments tht i'm just so laaaazy tht all i wanna do is lay down on the grass and let the birds serenade me to sleep.

Ok, maybe I'm a little outdated, but considering the distance, i beg to be excused.

Anyway, i like yuna, i think she's very talented, i like her music, this is my kinda of music... i hope she'd go far.... and i hope she gets to perform here someday soon.

and here's another one. this one is Lenka from Australia. bet u've heard parts of it somewhere, i did too, but cant seem to recall from where or when. i think it's real cute, but let's hope the world doesnt ODed on it tht it turns into another lemon tree. Anyway, she'd b performing in Munich next month, i wanna go, but let's see if i can persuade my friend to come with me.

Sunday, May 17, 2009


so I cooked. ntah ler, it's becoming somewhat a routine tht I'd crave for something everytime time I wake up on a Saturday morning. And this time, it's laksa lemak (or laksa nyonya)and that was weird 'cos the last time I had it was like ages ago.

And the best one I've ever had, or perhaps the my first ever was at Sri Petaling foodcourt. It was my sister who introduced it to me. I was sceptically at first. I mean, a perfect laksa for me would be an assam laksa much like the one in Jusco. But I gave it a try anyway, and was hooked instantly and since then, we'd meet up almost every week for a bowl of laksa.... until one day, the uncle was no longer there. We asked around, and were told that he'd left for his hometown :(

And that was that, until yesterday morning... so I googled for laksa nyonya, some say it's the same as laksa lemak, so I picked out a recipe, and shopped for the ingredients, and spent like 30 Euro for everything, gile tak gila?! Well, tht also included other things like bread n grapes, but still... But hey, galangal and candlenuts aren't cheap, and dont get me started on seafood, okayyy? germans mostly eat animals tht roam on land, and in case u still dont know it, they lurrrve sausages. still dont believe me, ever wonder why frankfurters are called as such?

anyway, today, setelah berhempas pulas... hampir la jd. a healthy version, i hope. minyak dikurangkan, but considering the amount of santan i poured in (the creamier, the thicker definitely the better, yummy) .... errrr, ultimately maybe x healthy langsung. Tapi xpela, sekali sekala...

Was it worth not going to the concert in the Schlossgarten this morning? Definitely worth it!

Sunday, May 10, 2009


so yesterday, i decided to take the bus to town. tunggu kt bus stop punyala lama. so while waiting, i took pictures, of myself, and, when the bus passed by (i had to wait for it to make a turn at the of the route b4 i could get on it), i also took a picture of it with my handy, but the picture of bus turned out pretty bad so i deleted it.

anyway, after the bus made the turn n stopped at my stop, i got on it n was stopped by the driver. with a stern face, he said something in german n i was like, "huh?" again he said it while touching his head, i only caught the word 'hair'. is something wrong with my hair?
Sensing tht i couldn't understand him, he switched to english and said, "You were taking pictures." Aramak, dia perasan, salah ke? And he continued, "I didnt have time to fix my hair" while touching his BALD head. Ceh, dia berlawak ke rupanya... hampeh!

Thursday, May 07, 2009

hari ini dalam sejarah

so at 730am, there was a knock on the door. it was the cleaning lady, she wanted to clean the room. awal gile lak pgi ni. So basically, i had to leave the room asap, and got here at the office real early. Time tu ramai blum smpai. So i made my cup of cappucino, skimmed thru my medical bills, suddenly, my SV came, asking me to help him with something. And tht something was to carry berbotol2 champagne from his car to the storage room yg bole tahan jauh gak ler.

You see, my SV ni is a realtively young academic yg sungguhla rajin bekerja smpai kekadang sakit2 kepala, dtg pon awal pg, rambut pon dah kurang, and on top of tht, he has a flair in navigating his way thru and around the political web of academia. So esoknya ni, ada cam Comp Science day, dia terpilih bg talk, so he got these bottles of special drinks la for those yg dtg attend. And it's just so happened pagi ni, dua ekor group member dia yg dah ada kat opis (jarang berlaku seawal ni) were the 2 yg SELALU missing in action (one of them tu akula), dan dua-dua pulak are the only 2 muslims in this dept (group SV aku je yg international kat sini), so kena la g tolong mengangkot air setan tu. Dah la berat, panas lak hari ni, jauh lak tu, n bile dah smpai tu, SV aku pon was like, sejuk lg air ni, jomla la kita rasmi dulu... to which kareem n i just sengih kambing je, hampeh.


oh, and in deutsch class today, tgh aku dok pratice ckp, suddenly osama from the back row called out to me and said, "Eti, he's from Malaysia (pointing to the chinese guy next to him)... so talk". Dia pulak yg excited, ceh. I guess there're usually not tht many malaysians in places where i've been at. mcm kat course in japan. Time tu masa sorg member phillipines ni jumpa this other malaysian guy ni, dia sungguh2 cari aku nak introduce to tht guy.

Anyway back to the story, time tu kami sama2 terblur sebentar, i mean, come on, we usually speak in English when talking to Chinese or Indians (unless u're in the east coast la kot). Lagi pulak, the instructor dgr osama jerit kat aku camtu, trus je dia sound, suruh ckp deutsch dlm class.

Nak cite how unique malaysia ni kan, time balik tu, we walked together with this one hungarian guy, and the guy was like telling me tht the malaysian guy can speak in Chinese (i guess cantonese kot sbb dia mamat cheras), and i was like, okayyyyyyyyy (biasa la tu), and trus dia blur, seeking an explanation as to why he knows the language and i dont. Aduh, panjang lak nak cite pasal multi-racial etc.

Anyway, he's been here for more than a year, and apparently he didnt come directly from malaysia 'cos he's here as an exchange student from a Korean uni. where he's doing his Msc. He's been here for over a year now and will b going back to Korea in 2 months' time. So i asked him if he know of other malaysians in erlangen ni, ye la, tht might b helpful in the future, heck getting to talk with him in Manglish pon felt really good, and he was like, "well, now the number is increasing, now there's 2", to which i replied, "Duh!"

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

(almost) lompat lg

so i told him tht i found a paper proposing a very similar idea to mine, so kena forget jela tht idea. and dgn excitednye, i showed this one paper tht i think sgt best, and which idea can perhaps be somehow combined dgn original idea (yg sebenarnya dah x ori tu la). dia ckp toksah dok gatai2 nak buat benda lain lak (ok, literally not like tht la). dia suruh just stick with it for now, extend the work, optimize from there, and i was crushed.

maybe becos from the last discussion, kami (more like aku je la) dah excited with the idea (yg dah x ori tu la, yg aku ingat abih best conceived time baring2 atas katil), alih2 hari ni (after him being away almost the whole of the last 2 weeks) aku ckp nak abandon je sbb org lain dah publish kerja yg like 50% similar tu. Dia sound kata, normal la tu, selalu pon berlaku. I know, it happened to me once, albeit bukan similar strategy, but solves the same problem. In my defense, aku ckp, aku baru je idea nye stage, tp dah ada org lain buat, siap implement cun lg, org CMU lak tu, ter-demotivated terus aku... ha, siap ko, luahan perasaan lg tu. Tu pasal aku nak cari jln lain, tu paper yg baru aku jumpa ni, aku rasa abih best la kalu bole exploit strategy/findings dia ke etc...

seperti biasa, dia kata ok je. dia mmg takkan shoot down apa2 aku ckp pon TP dia still suruh stick with the ori idea, jgn terus2 demotivated (siap gelak kat aku time aku ckp demotivated, ceh) n trus nak abandon, just proceed je, mesti ada lobang for improvement mana2... oklaaaa.... TP paper yg best td tu camne (aku ni, kalu rasa idea paper tu best, adamant nak gak by hook or by crook, rasa cam epiphany lak time baca tu walopon aku pon sebenarnya tatau camne nak exploit idea org tu sbb dah ter-electrical engineering sgt - ni la masalahnya paper org India, they write it so well they make it sound so easy tht u'd think u can do it too padahal kalu tgk mathematical calcs dia, hah, baru tau langit tinggi rendah)... dia cam terus je discuss idea asal, cam ignore pon ada gak, cam x bg aku lompat2 topik pon ada gak (dah bosan gamaknya aku asyik tukar2 topik dari underwater wlan to cognitive radio, walhal idea nak buat apa pon belum develop lg)... then the phone rang, he was on it for a considerable amount of time... when he was back, dah lupa td ckp apa, aku pon dah lupa gak.

okla, aku decide, stick with the ori idea... tp hati kecilku berkata, ada peluang/kalu akal sampai nak gak masukkan idea paper yg cam best tu.