Sunday, July 01, 2012

40 weeks ago...

so about 5 months ago, at right about 6-7pm, i'd start to get really hungry up to a point of feeling super neuseous, and at night, i'd get severe headache tht i had to go to bed earlier than usual. But as I was swamped with work sampai stayback pkul 2am, i figured, penat keje kot ni. That went on for a few weeks.

Then, it got worse, one weekend, rasa macam nak demam, then at one night, nausea almost woke me up in the middle on night. Then, the following night, after work, as i was getting changed, alem came into our room and commented, "**** dah gemok ye skarang". Chisss, i felt insulted (ada hati rasa insulted, padahal tak penah exercise pon :P), and blamed it on constipation. Then, again, that night, i woke up feeling nauseous sampai susah nak tidur balik, tp sbb penat, last2 tertidor gakla.

The next morning, feeling unsettled, amik stock hpt, and surprise2, i wasnt gemok for no reason after all. Did a second test, positive gak. Hmmm... strange. Told alem about it, he seemed unsure about it as my period had just ended. So we decided to just forget about it (tatau la sbb in denial ke sbb traumatized from the previous miscarriage).

But I was still feeling nauseous whenever I started feeling hungry so the following week, i persuaded alem to go and see a gynae, walaupun sebenarnya takot tht it might just be a fluke. Chk2, fetus dah besar dah pon, dah active bergerak with a strong heartbeat.

Now, if going by my menstruation cycle, patutnya at tht time baru segumpal darah je. Then, we backtracked for 2 cycles, then it made sense, which means the last period wasnt a period, but some old blood that lasted for almost a week. Wallahuaklam...

Apa2 pon, i am grateful that it's been pretty easy so far. I'm grateful tht i didnt know it sooner, partly because had i known about it sooner, mesti mengada2 sampai 3 bulan. Dah tau hujung2 first trimester, mengadanya pun sekejap je la before all the sickness dissipated.

Now, at 23 weeks, I got almost another half-way to go. I still worry about him all the time. Apa lagi, with my active lifestyle, yg selalu ke sana sini, pecut kejar bus malam2 and keje yg bertimbun2. And while I can occasionally feel the flutters and the tapping on the inside, I'm really hoping to feel solid kicks so i will no longer confuse those weird sensations with... say... gas.

I pray that it'll be all be ok this time... insyaAllah.

Ok, so the above was typed almost 20 weeks ago. Today, it is exactly 40 weeks. Tomorrow, dah overdue. My parents are already here, I've already started my maternity leave or rather, I was told by my sv tht he didnt wanna see me around a couple of weeks ago, and I'm prepared for our little bundle of joy... am just wondering when he's gonna be prepared to finally meet us...